I am tired of...

...rushing down to house to wait for contractor to rectify prob every alternate days...
...spending the sunday/saturday tuition-ing (even tho i do get some $$)... i'm getting more impatient nowadays...
...confirming details w external parties...
...cleaning and mopping the super big and empty house...
... measuring & recording the dimensions for items & kiv before double confirming... gg back to the place to get again...
...reading online for info and i get so stressed w info overload what to do, what not to do and wats good... i am pantang coz i would rather believe than regret in future. so i do my own research.
...waking up at 6/7/8 every morn w/o roti-prata-ing on bed...
... sourcing for the best deal for tv and fridge and fan...
... feeling guilty for every single cent spent. whether m i splurging on unnec things. do i really need it? can i save the $$ for the house? for my parents? or just save for rainy days. where has my $$ gone to??

now my travelling is basically amk --> bishan --> woodlands --> yck --> sbw --> amk... argghh.. i dun even hv time to go shopping for anything. i dun even hv time to watch a movie. i dun even hv time to go to my yrly lantern fest. the house, the wedding prep, the marking have all ripped out my 24 hrs... i am officially tired.

... i also cant rem what i have been doing for the past few weeks/months... everything seems like a whirlpool.. seconds n minutes ticking by, days and nitez slipping away... in addedum, the marking load roarRRR~

i m an organised person. Super organised. i hate JIT. i dun like to rush and i cant function well under stressful conditions. i like to plan ahead, in mindmap word doc, in checklist format, in excel file and even in hard copies (which i own more than 2 notebooks, 1 organiser & 1 diary to simply record dimensions & model numbers & impt info which keeps changing every few days). even if it means duplication. i hate uncertainty. i hate to be in doubt.

its so exhausting.. its so tired preparing for wedding & house. but i am not at all slim down!! WHY???!!

can i ever go back to the past to be the carefree girl?? maybe i shd hire a wedding planner. when ple envy u, they dun see the pain and sweat behind the scene.. i am officially tired.

good nitez.